Usually when someone says, “Eat dirt!” they mean, “Die! I hate you! Die!” But apparently dirt-eating might be… healthy. Say what?!

That’s right: NPR’s blog The Salt recently reported on the “under-the-radar” practice of eating a white clay known as kaolin. As nutritional anthropologist Sera Young told NPR’s Linda Chen, clay, when eaten, might act as “a mud mask for the gut,” filtering out toxins before they hit the bloodstream. Ew. Yay! That’s great news for people who are sick to death of lemonade and green-juice cleanses. (Or not. Suddenly those two options are seeming a lot more delicious…)

Anyway, the dirt-eating doesn’t stop with kaolin. Some people believe that eating a little garden-variety (ha!) dirt each day helps keep the doctor away. The idea here is that exposing your system to various bugaboos/germs/microbes boosts your immunity and decreases your risk of getting an autoimmune disease. (It’s kind of a companion to the ol’ “hand sanitizers hurt your immunity” argument.)

“But what about the five-second rule?” you may ask. “Is it a bunch of hooey?”

No. No it isn’t. In fact, researchers recently found that the longer a piece of food stays on the floor, the more bad-for-you bacteria it contains. So if you’re one of the 87 percent of crazy people who are totally fine with eating food that’s been dropped on the floor (and heads-up that we’re not going to eat at your house for dinner if you are), here’s some food for thought:

If you’re going to fast, you might want to eat dirt. And if you’re going to eat dirt, you might want to make it fast.